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Cessnock Life Is a Simulator Not Afraid to Offend

A new text-based simulator promises to show what life is like in Cessnock, a regional Australian town, and it’s not afraid to offend.

Cessnock Life Is a Simulator Not Afraid to Offend

Sometimes the best games played are also the most simple. That’s why The Oregon Trail continues to live on in some form nearly 50 years after it was first released. It also partly inspired this new simulator about life in Australia’s Cessnock, in the NSW Hunter Valley.

Cessnock.Life is a simple text-based game that randomly generates a name and some life stats — luck, happy, health, IQ and looks. All you do is hit the ‘Age’ button and it throws life events at you for each year you progress.

Mikey, a software engineer in Sydney, is behind the simple game and joked he saw a gap in the admittedly niche market.

“Cessnock doesn’t have too many competing life simulators. I saw it as a wide open opportunity to capture the market before a competitor could swoop in,” Mikey said to Gizmodo Australia over email.

Once you get to age 18, it stops and gives you a net-worth. It’s only a beta so Mikey said he intends to expand it beyond that age and include more story logs, questions to help and user accounts so you can save games and review past plays.

A choose-your-own-adventure for regional Australians.

A lot of text entries allude to some problems parts of regional Australia have built up a negative reputation for — racism, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, among others.

In one run-through, my character’s preschool was cancelled because the owner was selling meth and later was put on…

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